I got these AIM away messages from here. I take no credit, but I picked out some exceptionally funny ones so you don't have to go digging for them.

 I'm single-handily trying to free the world of hunger, starting with myself.

Hunger has driven man to insanity, today it has driven me from my computer

I fell out of my chair. This might take a while.

  If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but %n abuses the privilege.

I'm bored, your boring, so don't leave a message.

Listen %n, if I wanted to talk to you, I would be here wouldn't I?

Hello, I am here, but I'm avoiding someone I don't like... IM me, and if I don't respond, it's you!

You want to know something pathetic yet funny, You actually taking the time to read my extremely boring message. (thats the pathetic part).the funny part is that I'm sitting in front of the computer screen ...laughing

Beleeve it or not i am aktually at klass tyring two git meself en edumacation.....lev a msage?

Have you ever noticed anyone going slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Exercise is good for you so that's what I'm doing. I'm walking from the computer to the TV.

Sorry, something more interesting than you is on television right now

Hello! This is Goldilocks. I'm busy right now eating porridge with the three bears, be back as soon as we settle which bowl of porridge is juuussst right!

(YOUR NAME)'s computer is broken right now. This is her fridge. Now, you can leave a message, but say it slowly, so I can write it on a post-it note and stick it to myself.

I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive, but suidice is a crime!

Picking the fuzz off of my socks. I'll be back when I'm all done.

You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friend's nose.

If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring only one thing, what would it be? For those of you who didn't say a boat, I don't think I'll be talking to you anytime soon. For the rest of you, feel free to leave me a message.

Would you believe me if I told you I was away? I didn't think so. Well, I'm not away, do you believe that? I didn't think so either. Boy, this is going to be harder than I thought.

I'm having a staring contest with the wall. It's harder than I though! Anyway, when I win, I'll be back

Right now I'm being attacked by an evil army of centipedes but don't worry about me, I'll be fine, it's not the first time this happened!

I am not gone. My computer ran away and I can't find it at the moment.

I'm here but I can't seem to locate the "I'm Back" button on my away message box. Leave a message and hopefully I'll find it soon.